Late Bloomer...

Hi *waves*. I've realized two things about myself in the past few days. Number 1: I'm a late bloomer in everything and number 2: I have an addiction to magazines. These two things overlap and that may not seem obvious right a way, but it's true. Let me explain...

I have to buy a magazine when I go to lunch almost everyday. Usually I have these long 1 hour lunches and I can't just sit there and twiddle my thumbs for 45 minutes. So, in order to keep myself from eating to fast and to pass the time, I read magazines. I mostly read fashion mags (except for my weekly gulity pleasure, Us Weekly) as I love fashion just like the next Cali girl and my secret wish is to be a fashion designer one day. I have a portfolio full of sketches that will probably go to waste as I have a debilitatiing case of low self-esteem, but I digress.

I read Elle, I read Vogue, I read Glamour, I read Bizarre and if I sat down and calculated how much I spend on mags a week... well, it'd be really scary. I try to stay way from stuff like Cosmo as all it talks about is sex, how to have better sex, how to have sex standing on your head, shit like that.

Anyway, I read all these mags including their teenage counter-parts. In fact, sometimes I prefer Elle Girl or Teen Vouge to regular old Vogue cause I just relate to it more. Now keep in mind that I turn 25 five in a few weeks. Is it odd that I still relate to stuff geared toward a 15 year old? I think maybe yes and other people think yes too as I get weird looks from people when I'm standing in line to buy them.

This ties into my being a late bloomer. I'm late at everything. I was late learning how to read. I was late getting my period. I was late getting a real job. I was late learing how to walk in heels... I still haven't learned how to drive... you get the point. It also seems that my maturity level is taking it's sweet ass time getting here too.

I've set down and acutally thought about, on an intellectual level, how old I really am and I'd say I'm 17, 18 at the most. Very very sad.

I've also thought about why I'm so late at getting to everything. Is it in my genes, is it my parents fault (which is a good argument as my mother still tells me what to do like I'm a child), am I mentally deplayed and never diagnosed? Just thinking about it makes my head hurt. What I do know is that my slow moving maturity has manifest it's self in my lunch time reading material.

Anyway. That's all the rant I have left in me tonight. Peace, Love, and Blessed it be.