November 2005 Archives

So I’ve been without my computer for two days and it’s starting to drive me a little batty. I’ve become less addicted to my computer over the years, which is a good thing. I remember when I first started this internet thing. I was on my computer 20 hours out of the day, not kidding… seriously. There was so much to discover and learn that I was hooked on the rush of exploring new territory. It was amazing. But alas, the internet is not shiny and new to me anymore. I’ve been in the game too long and it’s lost its luster. I still occasionally get a little high every now and then when I figure out html code that has been killing me slowly or I discover a service, website or php program that will downgrade my life from the 9th circle of hell to the 7th. It’s good, but that first feeling… that first taste… like heroin… you’ll never get that level of high again. Makes me kinda sad.

So yeah, my computer situation has kinda changed. Like a creepy old man with ESP, my uncle called me last night wanting to talk computer upgrades. I have plans to go over his house this weekend and get a new machine with much more speed than what I’ve got now. I’m excited, but I’ve also decided to buy a new computer from Dell. I’ve already picked out the one I want. Isn’t it gorgeous? Do you know how much damage I could do with a TV tuner and recording/clipping technology? I swear the world would implode. That is how crazy it would be. Just thinking about it makes me want to laugh like a Comic book Villain. It’s upwards of a thousand dollars but I want it… really, really bad.

I passed the idea of purchasing a New, new computer by my mother and she pitched a fucking fit. She did the same thing with my sister’s new car. “We can’t afford it; we can barely pay the bills we have.” Which is disturbingly true, but it is hard to take on the burden of three adults on two adult’s salaries. My sister and I not only share the burden of household bills; we also share the feeling of working really hard and getting nothing for it. 80 % of the reason you work is the keep a roof over your head and food in you belly, yes, but the other 20% is to purchase things that bring you joy. Yeah, we see very little of that. It’s almost like we are working for free. And the parental unit doesn’t help the situation by shaming us every time we want to buy something we’ve been dreaming about. I will go as far as to say my computer is my life. I spend more time on it doing things and connecting with people than I do in real life. That may not be healthy, but it’s true. The logical course of things would be, if my computer has become a piece of shit, to want a new one. Right? I suppose it is true that I have champagne taste on beer money and always go for the most expensive thing on the menu. I guess it’s just the Leo in me, but damn it, I know quality when I see it. I’m not going to spend my money on crap just because it’s cheaper. If I’m going to spend money at all, it’s going to do what I want it to do and be damned good at it too! I guess I’ll write a spell about it. It will come to me. I just need to find the means to get it.

Peace, love and blessed it be.

Hi *waves*. So it's back to work for me. It's not so bad though. Not as bad as I thought it would be anyway. It's not like I'm twitching on the floor in full blown withdrawl form a 4 day weekend. Don't get me wrong, I was so enjoying my little Va-ca. I got so much shit done! I put this layout up which I am loving, and I started work on new layouts for both Warrior of Darkness and Ghost Hack. I'm very please with both of them. The only downside is that I was so inspired to design yesterday that I was up until like 3 in the morning. I'm working on like 3 hours of sleep. I'm so beyond tired, I'm not tired anymore.

Speaking of computer related things, lets talk about my computer and how it is with me at work right now. I thought I'd bring it in and have AJ look at it. It is at a snails crawl right now, so I'm trying to do something about that... short of chucking it out the window. I probably need new memory (which I already know) and I want to replace my back up drive with something that can actually back things up.

See, I've had that drive for while as a way to store and back up data from my previous drvie which was like 1.5 gigs at the time. Now I have a 60 gig drive that I've barely even dented and a 2.5gig backup just doesn't seem antiquate anymore. I'd like to get a 100 gig backup so I can have a nice wide comfort zone and enough room to store my pics and video.

Speaking of video, I would love to be able to make my own clips and screencaps. Maybe I should just break down and buy a Dell. They're going for pratically nothing right now. A brand new Dell computer... sounds sweet!

Peace, love, blessed it be.

Hi *waves*. As you can see, new layout is finally up. It's about damned time. I was sick of that Gerard Bulter Layout. I mean, I love the guy, but jeez! Enough already! This is my Samurai Champloo layout. It's one of my favorite Anime and it's from the makers of Cowboy Bebop and Wolf's Rain. I'm feeling it right now, but who knows how long that will last. By the way, this is as close as I'm going to get to a Christmas Layout, so enjoy it bitches! Hahahahaha!

Speaking of layouts that have been up way to long, I need to redo all my fanlistings. Some of those layouts have been up for like 2 years and shit! That is crazy... just sheer laziness. So, since I'm in a layout building mood, I figure I'll work on layouts for them too. I've already blown my Thanksgiving Vacation to shit.

Peace, Love and Blessed it be.

Hi *waves*. Okay, so I’ve decided not to do Turkey Day this year. I woke up in a really bad mood this morning and decided that I would just sleep that day. It sounds stupid but it makes a bit of sense as I really can’t afford to buy anything. And even if I did, I would have to cook it all myself, which I would do if I knew how, but I don’t have any idea how to go about cooking a turkey dinner. It’s overwhelming just thinking about it.

Anyway, yeah, I’m not feeling particularly happy and shiny right now. It’s been floating around my head for a while, but I think I probably need to be back on my medication again. I’m really starting to see the difference in how I react to things when I’m not on the Zoloft. I have a shorter fuse and put up with much less shit. Then again, I felt like a zombie being on that stuff. I didn’t get upset or affected by anything. I was just hovering through life like whatever. It was kind of like I was outside of my body, watching myself coast through. Not that there is anything wrong with coasting. There isn’t. I just need to decide if that is the way I want to live. Yeah, coasting is good, it’s easy, but sometimes you need to row to get yourself to a certain point or change direction because if you don’t, you’ll run into a wall.

Yeah, it’s weird. I’m being all deep and shit at work. I can say that I got a lot done today. That has something to do with my anxiety. I feel all hyped up, which is good in one respect and bad in the other as I tend to lose it at the drop of a hat. I’m trying desperately not to lose control at work. That is another good think about Zoloft. You don’t lose your cool. Xanax is really good for that too. I used to take Xanax everyday before I went to work at Vons and Goddess bless the stuff. It was my magic elixir. It made everything pretty. I can’t say enough good things about Xanax…the best. Jeez, I sound like a junkie… maybe I am a junkie… *shakes head” okay new subject.

It’s interesting how I seem to be in a writing mood. I’ve written posts for the last three days… in a row. How kick ass is that. I’ll have to try and keep this up. There is nothing more boring than a blog that hasn’t been updated in damn near forever. Second to that are abandoned websites. Now all I need to do is put up a new layout and I’ll be good to go.

Peace, Love, Blessed it be.

Hi *waves*. Okay so apparently working in Orange County is slowly killing me. I've had the allergy attack from hell for the last month and I've had two nose bleeds as well. Whats worse is, if my nose isn't bleeding, it constantly feels like it is, so I'm forever checking to make sure blood isn't trickling down my face. How horrible.

So, I didn't do any work on my domain sections this weekend. I didn't do anything this weekend to be honest. I just slept. I must have been super tired, cause I would sleep all night, then take a nap in the middle of the day, then sleep all night again. Very weird.

I'm also planning for Turkey Day as well. Those who are regulars already know I don't celebrate Thanksgiving because it goes against my Native American sensibility. I'd be disrepecting my ancestors if I did, so instead of thanksgiving, I'm having Turkey Day. All the food with none of the genocide. Very nice.

I'm practically broke, so it's going to take all I have to buy all the fixins' for Turkey Day and still have enough to see Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire. That kicked ass and took names this weekend at the box office. I'm desperate to see it... just desperate.

Alrighty, peace, love, blessed it be.

Hi *waves*. Yeah, it's been a while since I've posted, yet again. I just have to face the fact that I'm not one of those people who can sit down and post everyday. I actually think it has something to do with the fact that I sit in front of a computer all day at work. I think that has burnt me out, so when I get home the last thing I want to see is a computer screen. However, I still realize that design and the internet are a big part of my life. I had a growth spurt of the mind so to speak at the same time that I discovered this web design thing, so it's a part of me now. I would love nothing more than to sit around all day, just chillin' and designing my little heart out, but that is not real life.

As far as the domain goes, I'm not ready to shut LS down just yet. In fact I still can't imagine abandoning this domain. It's flippin' a part of me too. So, I've decided to get off my lazy ass and do something with this haunted house... like maybe some content. I know what you're thinking. How many times has she said that before, but I'm serious this time. I really need this to be more than just a blog cause as you can see, this blog ain't working out at the moment. Thanksgiving is coming, which means I have a 4 day weekend and unlike my job at Vons, I actually have weekends off. This means no need for make up decompression form the stress of working whenever and where ever. I have my weekends for that now.

Yes, I'm going to start as soon as today, fixing up my vacant menu bar and starting with The "Tiffany" Section. I'm not going to wait until I put up my new layout, cause there's no telling when that will be. So yes, tonight... or tomorrow morning after I sleep a bit. Yeah, that sounds like a plan. Sweet!