The Anticipation of Winter...

I feel like I need to write something, but to no one's surprise, I have no idea what to write.

I suppose it's the anticipation of the winter. I have all this holiday vacation time spread out before me and as always I want to make the most of it and use it to get my web stuff in order... however, that never happens. I end up wasting the time away sleeping or watching pointless things on TV when I could be spending that valuable time coding something.

I hate coding.

I used to love it because it made me feel accomplished, but when you look back at the past and realize you've been doing this web design thing for going on ten years, you understand why the act of typing html code doesn't have the same warm and fuzzy feeling it used to. Not to mention that I'm a dinosaur compared to the new blood on the net and my html is proof of that. I find myself on the tail-end of the cutting edge, trying to fully understand xhtml, div layers, and code validation.

I feel defunct...I feel out of date and spoiled like something that needs to be flushed down the garbage disposal.

It's amazing to me how fast this year has gone by. Not that I'm complaining or anything. I've had many shitty years and this one is going to go down in the record books as the worst yet. Everything has been a struggle, I've gotten nothing but bad news, the road has gotten rockier and I know there is a lesson to be learned, there always is, but I can't seemed to fucking see it. I desperately look to 2008 to be a better year and get me back on track. It's undiscovered, so for right now it holds nothing but the brightest possibilities and I need that if I'm going to keep on keeping on.

I think some of my ho-hum attitude stems from my struggling with Chapter 11 of This is Absolution. It was so easy to write Proof of Life; the words just poured out of me, but this one is really hard. Maybe it's because it's not just about Chase and Claudia anymore. I have a slew of characters that need to be fleshed out and an intricate plot that is developing and changing all the time. I know that once I get Chase and Claudia in the same room together things will get easier, but it's killing me to have to write about the other characters and move the plot along without sounding forced. It's not that I don't like writing the other characters or that they have no importance to me; I just know Chase and Claude so well... It makes things difficult.

Anyway, the plan is to get the chapter online by Thanksgiving Day or the day after and add some new content here. I'll also continue changing the site html over to xhtml as I cannot stand not driving or at least being on the bandwagon with all the other web children.

I'm a sucker for conformity.