Depressed Musing: December 2005 Archives

Hi * waves*. So, we are coming up on 2006. Do you remember, back in the 50’s when everyone thought we’d be living on Mars by the year 2000? I bet people who didn’t live to see 2000 come and go would be pretty disappointed in us now. It appears we aren’t really a forward thinking people. We’ve made leaps and bounds as far as personal entertainment is concerned (the new I-Pods for one), but as far as reaching out to the stars—the stuff of Gene Rodenberry’s dreams… we have failed miserably.

I suppose it’s to be expected. After all, we are human and humans aren’t known for being particularly smart (I’m very good at this self-loathing thing, aren’t I?). But even I would have expected to be farther along than this. I know that is rich coming from a notoriously late bloomer like myself, but I figure I am just a microcosm of the world at large. Humans are late bloomers by nature. We always seem to be playing catch up to the rest of nature’s creatures. The only thing that sets us apart is that we are at the top of the food chain and only because we have deposable thumbs. It’s kind of sad really. When you think about the nature of evolution (if you believe in it, which I do), you see that it doesn’t usually fix what isn’t broken. Crocodiles have stayed unchanged for millions of years. They are influenced by outside forces, their habitat is constantly changing thanks to human development, but still, they are unfazed. They are the perfect killing machine—divine in their perfection and propensity for destruction while still providing a valuable service to nature (weeding out the weak to make the herd stronger).

They are fascinating creatures, but also serve to show us our flaws. Humans are constantly changing because in essence, we are broken. Our pinky toes are getting increasingly smaller. Why? Not quite sure, but nature thinks we don’t need them anymore, so she is phasing those fuckers out. And, deep down, we know we are broken too. That is why we have this innate need to drill down the I-Pod to its most perfect state. We are desperate for control of our imperfection, therefore we strive to perfect the things around us in hopes that the perfection will prove our value or rub off on us. Could we use the initiative we use on video games to fuel our exploration into space? Sure we could, but why bother when the Graphic Geeks at Pixar will create a virtual universe for us. No muss, no fuss, no math… its genius.

I guess I’m just discontent with the fact that another year has gone by and I still have done nothing with my life. I really shouldn’t get down on myself. I’m just doing what humans do. Unfortunately I’m a little more forward thinking than that, so my being par is bothering me.

I got invited to a few parties this weekend to ring in another New Year. I may go, I may not. It depends. I’d probably be a little more enthusiastic about it if I had a date, but alas, no such luck. Maybe I’ll stay home with the parental unit, drink vodka mixers and watch Anime. God, that sounds pathetic and fun all at the same time.