Depressed Musing: October 2007 Archives

Fall is coming and I'm thankful for it. The summer hasn't been very good to me, but then again, maybe I haven't been very good to it.

In any case, this has been a pretty difficult year. Illnesses that I thought I could hold off on for a little longer are starting to catch up with me and I feel myself thinking increasingly dark thoughts which are never a good sign. It's upsetting to me that I could be 27 and already on my way to full blown diabetes, but you know, that's just the sort of shit that happens to me.

It always seems that the worst that could happen does and I'm just stuck sitting there watching things fall down around me and waiting for the other shoe to drop... and it will drop. It never fails to do that.

I could chalk this up to going through a funk and I suppose I could be proactive and do something about it now, but it's been a while since I've been on anti-depressants and it costs too much to see a therapist or psychiatrist with my insurance so I guess I'll have to let it ride.

Besides, it's been sometime since I've lain with misery and I must admit that I miss its dark company.